ambassador-of-anguish: shouldertappingghosts: If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
mowwwg: “you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!” the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
sunshineface0014: assbutt-in-the-garrison: I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem You can’t even see your problem
thepensivebrony: “you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you” finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
vivalaausten: greydelisle: The kid behind me at Starbucks got way too excited about the last pumpkin muffin….so I ordered it.
buttspectre: why would you want to be an offensive stereotype for Halloween when u can be this
shedisenchants: shedisenchants: so every year after the juniors finish reading The Great Gatsby my high school english teacher throws a Gatsby party at his huge house and everyone shows up in period clothing and Charlestons to 20s music and my english teacher just wears a suit and stands off to the side staring wistfully out the window the entire night you guys think I’m joking??
anyhow-i-sat-by-your-side: well you know technically Ireland is coming 1st just from the wrong end
the-gingerdancer: Its okay non europeans, you can come out now, the coast is clear
edmundcorcoran: in Europe we don’t say ‘i hate you’ we say ‘nil points’ which roughly translates as ‘we still hold a grudge against you for something a while back and we don’t share a border with you either’ i think that’s lovely don’t you?
baconllamatimelord: secretlymisha: as far as i can tell from my dash there’s some sort of gay musical olympics going on that only europe was invited to That’s it. That’s exactly it.
whilelifepassesby: klainecrisser: Eurovision is the only time where Europe doesn’t feel like we are in Narnia FOR ONCE A YEAR WE ARE OUT OF THE CLOSET No wait that came out wrong.. no it came out perfectly
holepsi: YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE EUROVISION
idontneedsavin: yall make gifs from live tv faster than i can get off my couch
rneerkat: toastyghosties: rneerkat: rneerkat: what do u call an alligator that lacks social skills crocward ISAAC YOU MESSED UP THE WHOLEJOKE IT SHOULD’VE BEEN CROCODILES NOT ALLIGATORS well this is crocward
calliopesragingboner: one-hamburger: dicksp8jr: fionaaelizabeth: If corals get stressed they die, so if I was coral I would be dead what do coral even get stressed about Current events Get out.
radstunts: scraggay: therealhamster: scraggay: handjobs are fuckin lame i can do that myself you can scratch your own damn back but that doesnt mean it feels the same yo i honestly tried to think of a witty response but i cannot damn that is a very valid point this is the most civil ending to an argument i have ever witnessed on the internet
vvierd: true embarrassment lies within your first email address
jebiwonkenobi: When I was little I thought being an adult meant not having a bed time but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bed time and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.
the-sonic-url: rneerkat: one day an insane person is going to threaten me with a gun and im going to make some stupid joke and thats how my life will end